At the foot of the Cross

When I was younger, I often found myself at the foot of the cross. It was easier to come and talk to You and not a day went by without me doing so. But today, things are not the same and I find myself too absorbed with various preoccupations. I have begun to define my days by appointments, meetings, and various other occupancies, that have led me to forget my ultimate purpose in life. I have gotten too occupied with my job, exams, and friends that I’ve forgotten to raise my heart to you, even if it’s for a single minute. Prayer has becomes obsolete and the amount of time spent reading the scripture continues to diminish. I was once told that this world was not my home, nor my comfort, nor my shelter, but I keep forgetting.

The flame that used to burn in me with passion for Your word has dwindled as I roam hopelessly. I thought I could do it all on my own and I took credit for way more that I deserved. I considered myself infallible in all that I have done and have forgotten the countless number of times You’ve held my hands and helped me cross the troubled waters. I’ve forgotten the countless times that I’ve fallen, and You my Lord have picked me up. I’ve forgotten the nights spent in worries and tears, as You comforted me with faithful promises. In my false sense of strength, I was made weak.

At times it feels as if I’m missing a piece of me, and that piece is your role in my life. When I find myself in troubled waters, I panic. But you’ve promised me much, and I have given You little. You said “And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:3-4) So, I’ll sit at the foot of the cross asking you to grant me perseverance. Allow me to be steadfast in my faith, and during times of tribulations. Allow my character to reflect Your grace, Your image, Your likeness and Your love. Finally, give me the hope that no matter how many times I will fall, you will always lift me up.

And so, I come to you like I did when I was much younger, kneeling at the foot of the cross and asking for Your grace. You’ve said to me My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor 12:9) Truth is, I can’t do it all on my own and without your blessing. Humble me and allow me to be weak so that in You, I may find strength. 

From Glory to Slavery

Too often we credit ourselves with too much and forget the hands of those who helped us get back up. We attribute our success to hard work, sweat, struggles and even persistence. During these times we forget that the main reason we have succeeded was through Christ's blessings. In Saint Paul’s greeting to the Romans, he introduces himself as a servant, thus bridging the gap between him and his audience. He does not pompously and pretentiously describe himself as a chosen elect, but lowers his stature in order to draw near to his audience. At times we ignorantly credit ourselves with too much and discredit our Creator for His numerous blessings.

From its origin, the word servant or servus in Latin is translated as slave. Let’s take two steps back and discuss St.Paul’s origin. He was Roman citizen, born to Hebrews, a Pharisee who well versed in the Torah and Hebrew traditions… one beyond his years. He was a strong leader and had many followers who he himself zealously led to destroy the early Christian movement. As one can see, he was highly educated and a man with stature. However, in his opening letter he defines himself as a slave.

Paul, a bondservant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle...(Romans 1:1) He does not credit himself, rather, he reminds himself and his audience that he is a slave… he chooses to equate himself to nothing. We too must bridge the gap in our service. In order to better understand those whom we serve, we must present ourselves as their equal and not their superior. For that same reason, Christ himself chose to take our nature and as a creator, became man to teach us the new laws and commandments. He took our flesh, felt the pains of loss (Lazarus), was despised and rejected by His creation, and tasted death on the cross… all for my sake.

Likewise, in our service we should constantly remind ourselves that we are mere slaves and not superiors. We shouldn't expect praise even when it is due and we shouldn't be conducting our services to appeal to others. We must remember that as a slave toils for his master, and we too must toil for Christ. We must strip the connotations of honor, and put on the robes of humility. So that “I may be encouraged together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me” (Romans 1:12).

Cannot be Destroyed

          You alertly rise in the morning as your alarm clock bursts into tunes of nuisance noises and irritating melodies. It’s now time to start your early morning routine rituals. You brush your teeth, comb your hair, get dressed and you’re on your way to doing exactly what you did yesterday.  You stare at your watch constantly hoping for lunch time, you then eat, work, and drive home. There, you have dinner, reply to last minute emails, watch some TV, and end up in bed asleep. The very next day, you alertly rise in the morning as your alarm clock bursts into tunes of nuisance noises and irritating melodies. An entire day of your life has passed by, to be exact 86,400 seconds as you followed this routine. You might not have even thought about what you were doing or in the matter by which it was done. Although nothing particularly ‘interesting’ has happened, you've been blessed with another 86,400 seconds. Truth is, there are millions of people worldwide and untold stories of people who could only dream of being in your shoes.

          It was great being young, so naïve of the evils, struggles, and problems that continue to plague mankind. You see, as a child, I knew none of these factors because I was fortunate enough to grow in a good home. However, the more I grew, the less naïve I became. Turn on the news and watch the world around you, and begin to realize the blessed life you are now living, and live it appropriately.

          Violence in the Middle East has spread like a cancerous tumor. It has become this malignant, protruding mass of hostility. It has infected the minds of many, poisoned the hearts of others and has blinded all. It’s become this monstrous creature of animosity, slowly but steadily damaging anything in its path. The Middle East has claimed itself as a Christian free zone and under the ideologies of certain religious regimes; the Christian population has dwindled. Christians, churches, convents and monasteries are being burned to the ground and it’s been brutal. But no where do you see these Christians retaliating. Some might consider this unwise and even “stupid”, but the Christian faith teaches otherwise. It teaches us to open the door of persecution, walk through the fire of trial, never giving up the faith and believing that the will of God will prevail.

          I was born to a Christian family, in a Christian home and was taught to apply the teachings of Christ in my life. As I looked through the images of churches that have been destroyed and the many Christians in the Middle East that have been threatened, my heart sank. But I realized that my beautiful church has been unchanging, unwavering, rigid, and has withstood the test of time as well as numerous trials. She has kept the traditions from the time of the Apostles and has preserved them. You see, the Coptic Church remained very strict in its belief and unlike metal; it did not bend with the heat and conformities of the world. When I thought more about it, I realized that I didn't grow in the church; rather, the church grew in me. I saw it as my safe haven, my hiding place, and in it, I found comfort in distress. As I continued to view the images of burned churches, I no longer saw destruction, for the church that lives in me cannot be destroyed. 

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21

Don't Worry

          I saw him from across the street and read the misery in his eyes as I stood stagnant in the middle of the sidewalk while the commuters pushed against me, fearing that they were going to be late for work.  It was already 8:55AM and I was running late, but I found myself motionless. Thoughts were rushing through my head that the busy streets of New York were muted, sirens were silenced, and the alarms that were once flashing were now dimmed. It was something about this man that moved me. So, I crossed the street and watched him from a distance.

          As I moved closer, I noticed that his shirt was torn, exposing his flesh and wounds. On his left arm was a gaping wound that stretched from his elbow to the tip of his ring finger. The palms of his hands had numerous marks on it; marks of hardships, grief, and distress. Something was telling me to move closer, so I took a few steps closer. I then noticed his aged face and his hazel eyes that were lost in a gaze. I saw his well-defined wrinkles that spread from the side of his left cheek to his chin and I couldn’t help but take an additional few steps closer. What I had previously thought were wrinkles were burn marks that had left a permanent imprint on his face. This man’s body was clothed in wounds.

          I stood there motionless, still observing his state. He began to slowly walk over to a stoop where he sat down and said “thank you dear father”. I was in awe and on a roller coaster ride of emotions. My heart began running a marathon and numerous thoughts were channeling through my mind. I stopped, stood still, and closed my eyes for a second. This man had nothing, but found a way to be thankful.

          When I saw him from across the street and read the misery in his eyes, I immediately considered him in need. However, it is not he who was in need, but rather it was I. It is from this man that I learned a great lesson. He didn’t have a family, a roof on his head, cloth on his back or even the security of knowing that he will eat. To me, it seemed like he had nothing. But what he had I lacked. He had faith that God who takes care of all His creations, will too, take care of him. In nakedness, he felt the warmth of Christ. In struggle, he felt the compassion of a king. In hunger, he was satisfied and filled with thanksgiving. In tribulation he gave thanks and through him, I saw strength through weakness.

           So don’t worry about the problems in life, cast all your burdens on the Lord... He's got it covered!

        “But seek first His kingdom and Hid righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:33-34)

#Thestruggle

         

We have all faced various trials and struggles in our lives, and these are the struggles that fashion us into who we are today. Too often in life do we tread the wrong path, walk down the darkened alley of evil, and become enslaved to sin. Our hands are bound by the piercing chains of iniquity, and our feet are shackled down by our trespasses. We are hurt, bruised, anguished, and fatigued. We hunger and thirst for freedom, but are starved under the premise of trials and tribulations. We fall, we stumble, and we struggle.

          At times, ‘hope’ becomes this far fetched and abstract idea to the point where we cannot fathom its relatives; happiness, joy, love and peace. When we lose hope, we lose everything. Hope is a virtue, to expect a good outcome regardless of the situation. When we lose this virtue, we belittle ourselves and during these times we feel like we are worth nothing…we amount ourselves to nothing. We cry, we hurt and become strangers in our very own world. We lose control of our lives and become passengers rather than drivers. When we lose hope, we lose the very desire to live.

        We look up to God and harshly blame him for the situation. We question His understanding and demand the answer to the question “why weren’t you with me” and “why didn’t you stop me”. Truth is He was with us, and will always be with us. He allowed us to fall into these trials and tribulations to allow us to come out stronger. In life, we don’t learn from experience, we learn from our mistakes. In due time, God will reveal to us the meaning of the trial, but we must be willing to endure it. In order to have hope, we have to include Christ as the main factor in our situation and expect a positive outcome knowing that He will intervene.

         The word “struggle” has such a negative connotation. You will never hear anyone talking about struggling in a positive way. We fail to recognize the struggle on the cross. Our Lord, God and Savior, our creator, our father, and our King left his kingdom to struggle for us. He took our nature and allowed for himself to be hung on the cross, for both you and I. When I close my eyes, I am reminded of his pain and suffering on the cross as he thought of me. “For God demonstrates his own love towards us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).  In His heart, he knew that I was worth His life, He considered me worthy of His struggle and he tasted death for me. Following His struggle on the cross, I received salvation. Likewise, following the struggles that I will face in life, there will always be a rewarding lesson to learn.

          So be prepared to struggle, be prepared to fight, be prepared to truly mean it when you say “thy kingdom come, thy will be done”, and wait. Wait to be tried, wait to learn, wait for Christ to intervene. Life isn't worth living without a struggle, because the struggles you face are apart of your story.

We May Not See it All

Just because you don't see anything happening, doesn't mean that God isn't working, The moment we pray, God sets the miracle into motion.

Sometimes God takes us into troubled waters, not to drown us but to cleanse us. Not to make us hopeless but to allow us to realize that this path was not the right one. Not to leave us in despair but to better reveal His presence in our lives. Above all, to humble us.

Sometimes we are left confused as to who we are, what life is, and what's our purpose here on earth. Too often we see images of the “perfect” girl, the “perfect” family, the “perfect” lifestyle and too little do we consider the imperfections in our lives that have fashioned us to who we are today. The mistakes we've made, the friends we've lost, and the nights spent in tears aren't necessarily the main ingredients of a “perfect” life. You begin to question, what have you done to deserve all of this?

The mistakes you've made have caused you to become more vigilant, the friends you've lost have caused you to befriend many others, and those long nights spent in tears have washed away the hurt. 

And so, my imperfections have fashioned me, my hardships have led to perseverance, and my tribulation as fine jewels, each scar a memory, a battle, and yet a victory. So next time you ask yourself why you don't have the "perfect" life, consider the imperfections in your life that are the key ingredients to your success, your smile, and your personality.

Above all, resist your will and allow God to steer you in the right direction. The moment you really mean it when you say "your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven", God will surely step in. A father only wants the best for his children. We are more than His children we are His creation. We are so loved by Him, that He considered us worthy of His blood on the cross. The scary thing is, are we really living that life?

When crossing troubled waters, or when you've reached that point in your life when you feel like you've lost it all, have Hope in your God.

"For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.'" (Isaiah 41:13) NKJV

Ressurection !

Day 7: Resurrection
4/20/2014

The hands that carried me over roaring waters, I tightly bound like a thief. The back that lifted away my many burdens, I whipped. The feet that walked miles and miles in search for me, the lost sheep, I hammered unto the cross. The mouth that taught me love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithful and self control, I fed sour wine. The head that was consumed with nothing but thoughts of me, I placed a crown of thorns on. The heart that beat rhythmically for my sake, I silenced. When my heart was hardened as I pierced your side, you cried for my sake... tears of pain, and yet tears of salvation.

When I close my eyes and envision You Lord, I am reminded of your pain and suffering on the cross. I, your most favored creation returned your loving kindness with bitter hate. With carelessness I crucified my savior, and with negligence I felt no remorse. Yet Your heart was overflowing with love. You prayed for my sake "Father forgive them for they know not what they do" and created an excuse on my behalf.

Dear Lord, help me to do the same. Help me to love unconditionally, without expecting much in return. Help my heart to overflow with love so pure and so genuine. Allow me to create excuses for those who have wronged me, forgive them that hurt me, and love those who have hated me... just as you have done the same for me. 

Above all, help me to involve You more in my life, in all my choices, decisions, tasks, and all that I do, that Your name may be glorified. As a potter, mold me in your likeness and as My creator, keep me from harm's way. As my father, provide for me only that the will benefit me and as my God, strengthen me in times of weakness and forgive my sins. Through Your pain and suffering, I was given a new beginning, and through Your death, I was given a new life. Help me to live accordingly, as this is not my own life to live.

 

Ekhristos Anesti, Alithos Anesti

Christ is Risen, Truly He is Risen!

Amen.